Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
