just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
