apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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