Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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