I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
