She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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