is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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