I think I died a long time ago.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
