you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
