this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
