Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
