Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish I only lived at night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize