Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
