My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
