easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize