Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
