If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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