His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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