I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
