It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All I want is dick and wine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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