u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
