We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
