ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You ruined the universe
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
