Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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