He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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