Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
