She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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