do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
