i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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