it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
