Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize