guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
