I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
