I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
