Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
