Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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