hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
