White coat. Heels.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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