yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
