to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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