Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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