I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize