yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
