My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
