I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
