i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
