The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
