Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
