Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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