I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
