i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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