so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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