When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
