Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
