I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
