I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
