HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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