I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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