my vag is so smooth its legendary
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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