I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize