cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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