actually, I'm a sock model
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
