is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
