There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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